you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
