Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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