I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
