he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
When are your genitals available?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
