You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
