you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
