Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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