on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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