All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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