hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
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Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
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Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.