she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
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As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
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HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.