I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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