I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize