i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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