Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
