Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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