Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
