He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm jealous of your bromance
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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