Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
