We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
