How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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