Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
