oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
God, I missed his penis.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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