I haven't been this sober since birth.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize