omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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