Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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