I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
