I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize