bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
