If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
