Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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