no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm always down for nudity.
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