That's intense
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
