Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
