I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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