rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
