brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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