i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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