im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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