My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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