i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize