Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
