I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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