I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
