I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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