I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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