she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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