Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
