You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
there is glitter all over my balls
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