So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
