I wannas sexs uuuuu
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
