i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you traded sex for a burrito?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
i believe in u and ur pee
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
