I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
