TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
