if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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