At least make sure they are 18
Why
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
