hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
operation have a gay friend backfired
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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