I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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