how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
