Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
