he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
